#Autistic Interviews
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Gender Critical Autistics
"I am an autistic women who grew up as an autistic girl, I just wasn’t aware of it. At 13 I had my first suicidal thoughts, which persisted on and off, until I was in my late twenties. I had no idea why I felt so disconnected from the world. I felt as though there was another planet that I was supposed to be on; that this one was just too small, too impossible, too wrong. Nothing made sense and I longed for something or somewhere else, where I could exist in a way that made sense. I couldn’t understand why everyone around me seemed to know exactly what to do.
If my school had told me, or taught me, that I might have a different identity, a reason why I felt so utterly different to everyone else, a way of making sense of some of the pain and utter self-loathing and suicidality that I felt, I would have grabbed at it with both hands.
Meanwhile, back in 1986, I was stuck, with no internal sense of gender, no coherent feeling of being male or female but a crashing feeling of suicidality. If I had been told that this meant something, and I belonged somewhere because of it, I’d have grabbed at it with both hands. If it meant taking medication, no matter the side effects, even better, because with my damaged sense of the world, medication meant that whatever I was experiencing was real.
I would know that the cacophony in my head was so important, so relevant, that a doctor somewhere had given me something to take to make it all better. It would give it meaning and leave no room for doubt; there was something wrong with me. It would have provided a sense of validation for my internal torment, and dare I say it, to my adolescent mind, a certain glamour. (‘I’m on drugs. This is serious’).
It wouldn’t have been real though. The feelings were real, but It would have been ASD and ADHD; all the stuff in my brain that I didn’t know about yet, because back in the 1980’s, far too many neurodiverse girls weren’t diagnosed.
But we know now that we can be and are neurodiverse and we know that at the moment, these girls are vastly over-represented at GIDS. And no one is saying ‘slow down’."
#autistic#autism#autistic voices#gender#identity#neurodiverse#gender critical#identity politics#mental health#autistic interviews#neurodiversity#actually neurodiverse#neurodivergent#gender identity#gender critical feminism#gay erasure#gender critical feminist#gender criticism#gender cult#gender ideology#gender is bullshit#genderabolition#gendercrit#gendercritical#genderideology#get the l out#sex not gender#gay#radical feminist safe#radfemsafe
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#i’m autistic and bisexual but idk if i’m like lestat or armand. which one do you think i am?#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc iwtv#iwtv amc#lestat de lioncourt#lestat#armandstat#armand le russe#iwtv armand#armand iwtv#armand#lesmand#i’m bisexual and this is a joke#bisexual
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if we do get 1970s/80s devil's minion in s3 then we need a movie theater scene like in s1. daniel takes armand to a slasher movie (a la nightmare on elm street or the like) and while everyone else is freaking out and terrified the camera pans to the back of the theater where those two are making out to the sight of blood and gore like the freaks they are. does anyone see the comedic vision
#those two are so weird i love them#freakatron 3000 and his 500 year old autistic bf whose special interest is saw traps#iwtv#devil's minion#armand iwtv#armand#daniel molloy#amc interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire#armandiel#armandaniel
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The Ryoko Kui interview's reception is such a disaster over a pretty normal (yet still flawed) interview between a non-Japanese fan and Japanese artistic. This is discourse for discourse's sake, and it's no surprise that almost every Twitter user I've looked at who's using this interview to parade Kui around as a goated mangaka standing strong against Western ideology is anti-trans.
Like, I do think the interview was kinda wonky with its focus on fandom culture, which Kui clearly didn't have much interest in. But sometimes that happens. Sometimes interactions between two people, especially a fan and a creator, two people who view and interact with a piece of media in completely opposite perspectives, don't click. Does this really need to get blown up into a "West vs. East culture war" issue.
Anyways, Kui saying "I don't consider my audience's interpretations when writing. I leave it to their imaginations, but I have my own read on things too" is the healthiest, most normal thing an artist/writer who wants a non-parasocial audience could say. Artists and writers use this line all the time. If Kui didn't enjoy autistic Laius or Farcille headcanons, she would have probably voiced/signalled her discomfort, like she did on the topic of Senshi fanservice. Overall, Kui handled the interview really well. Props to her to sticking to her guns and keeping a healthy disconnect from the fandom. While I think the interviewer could've/should've been more tactful and restrained, the flaws in their questions is not a symptom of the woke mind virus trying to wriggle its way into the pure Japanese psyche. It's the sign of an over-eager fan who sees a piece of fiction differently than its creator.
#personal#delete later#this isn't even worth talking about in depth#but it's crazy that we're rehashing the “artist intent vs fan interpretation” crap again.#read stuart hall's encoding/decoding.#is it so terrible that laius reads to nd people as autistic even though the writer wasn't thinking about it#is that really something to criticize#also you may think the last sentence is me exaggerating but that's literally what the twt discourse is about#anyways i feel bad for the interviewer who's getting harassed over this#i'm seeing every side of discourse be super uncharitable toward them because it's funnier to make them sound outta touch and confrontationa#like. i'm seeing posts from cool people making the interviewer look like they asked “why did you make laius autistic??”#when the actual text of the interview goes “a lot of nd people interpreted laius as autistic. did you have that in mind when writing him?”#and obviously i think a lot of fandom people upset about this are weird too. joking that kui. a real person. is probably autistic is weird#but who am i more willing to criticize. the overeager parasocial fans taking things a too far and making things kinda weird#or the “kill the woke mind virus” weeabo/otaku terfs who still use the r-slur against queer/nd teen anime fans
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i need to see armand be batshit insane. yes, MORE. i want to see him screaming and crying and throwing up, i want to see him tired of masking and stimming like CRAZY, i want to see him angry and sad and grieving over everything that’s happened to him. bc i like to see him suffering? partially! but also because it would represent a moment in his journey where he feels like he’s safe to do so, where he feels, at that point, like he doesn’t have to hide. would it ideally be a devils minion moment? perhaps (yes) but i’ll take that at any given time tbh
#this is an autistic armand post#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#armand iwtv#armand#iwtv armand
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#autism#actually autistic#autism meme#When the Scholarship Panel ask about your past academic achievements.#People are telling me that it sound like I nailed it but I should just pretend I didn't get it so...#Thankfully it never occured to me that my first ever interview had panel mambers who are part of a governement body before I sat it#I feel like the text is still somewhat true but you only get good at something by actually doing it#academia#scholarship#lolita dress#When I Got The X Autism Instead Of Being Good At Math Or Science meme#Science#science meme#?#Also since this meme seems to be from the reddit folk#r/196#196
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Real talk though, do you think Assad is aware that he is giving us one of the best autistic characters of all time?
#like does he even know that Armand is autistic coded?#and furthermore does he know that his Armand is also autistic coded???#like Armand is genuinely great autism representation to me. and him being autistic means so much to me.#I hope that if Assad knows or finds out I hope he'll also know that he's making the autistic fans feel loved and seen.#interview with the vampire#iwtv#the vampire armand#assad zaman#armand de romanus
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Never thought about Armand getting really into sex toys the way he gets really into blenders and microwaves and garbage disposals before but I sure am thinking about it now
#him and his gadgets#he would think they were so neat#autistic armand#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#armand#the vampire armand#the vampire chronicles
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hope this clears it up
#autism is a spectrum amiright#except both characters are The Most Autistic you possibly can be#iwtv#iwtv s2#wwdits#wwdits 2014#viago wwdits#armand iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv spoilers#amc iwtv s2#iwtv spoiler#the vampire armand#wwdits movie#viago von dorna schmarten scheden heimburg
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✨Bonus✨
POV you trash talk brine shrimp and/or Daniel Molloy
#armand#daniel molloy#interview with the vampire#iwtv#armandaniel#devil’s minion#iwtv fanart#iwtv crack#the vampire armand#amc iwtv#amc immortal universe#amc interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#my art#autistic king#kill bill sirens#u are about to heckin die#The blenders you ask?#Not all sea monkeys are worthy#I could not prevent it#Awake my beloved! They are calling me shrimp daddy on the youtube application#how fun#I guess in some ways I am their maker or Daddy as the youths say#Maker? DON’T COMPARE ME TO FUCKING BRINE SHRIMP ARMAND#Hush Daniel#Don’t speak like that to your siblings :)
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Have you heard the commonly said statement 'Autistic people are more likely to be trans' ?
What do you think about it?
And why are so many detransitioners autistic?
#autistic#autism#autistic voices#gender#mental health#gender critical#identity politics#neurodiverse#identity#gender cult#autistic interviews#gender ideology#gender is bullshit#gender criticism#gender critical feminist#gender critical feminism#sex not gender#undiagnosed autistic#undiagnosed neurodivergent#undiagnosed disability#misdiagnosed#gender dysphoria#gender dysmorphia#trans#transgender#lgb without the t#lgbtq#lgbtqia#ND without the T#detrans
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them: he manipulated them, killed their daughter, and fucked their heads. he's the villain! he's a sick twisted villain!
me: the 500+ year old vampire? with severe trauma? and zero support for his very obvious neurodivergence? the child sex slave? the dogmatically groomed prized possession? the cult victim? the 'has to figure out how to please people and blend in to survive and avoid further abuse' character? the 'regimented and desperate for order and sense of purpose so yeah he tries to do the job he is forced into to the letter' coven leader? the 'frequently abandoned, misused, and neglected so clearly he's developed frantic control issues to not lose his only sense of stability and comfort' one?
next day edit: hold on, i'm not done. i'm sitting here at lunch the next day and i really can not shake that some people do not get the point.
it's not that i'm gonna excuse villainous behavior. the tiny gremlin did all that shit, and his ass is gonna go in time out, but TO ME, the whole fucking point of the show is that no one is really the villain.
that's because they are ALL FUCKING AWFUL. all differently bad, all differently broken. the closest thing to a saint we got is madeline, so sure go off calling her the only good one im in agreement, but they are ALL A GODDAMN NIGHTMARE.
the beauty of this entire series, particularly the books for me but i do love the show, is that the nuance and wiggle room between monstrosities and man is the poetry of the story. it is beautiful that these creatures have this tiny gasps of heart and happiness and hope despite who and what they are.
i can scream into the void all week about armand and claudia and daniel bc those are the characters i most identify with bc of my own personal trauma. HOWEVER, that does not take away my ability to see that EVERYONE needs therapy.
put their asses on a vampiric SSRI, tell them to all fuck eachother and get the orgy over with, and then have an honest to god conversation about their feelings.
DAMN.
okay anyway, going back to work.
#I am fully aware he's in the wrong#but as someone who is also a survivor and is autistic#I just#can we try to see this series isn't not black and white maybe#also maybe ask yourself why you will forgive Lestat for his shit but not Armand but whatever#I'm going back in my hole now#the vampire Armand#Armand iwtv#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc iwtv#iwtv amc#Armand#armand de romanus#the vampire armand#my autistic murder baby
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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage
#eliot posts#dunme#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao#but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here#i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying#tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number#(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a#plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time#and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars#and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75#the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???
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“We knew that if Taylor and Nick didn’t feel safe, we would never have gotten that scene out of them.”
I've reread this interview a couple times, and the last sentence hit me differently. My entire chest expanded. I’ve been blabbering on and on about Taylor and Nicholas having to do intimate choreography, and it still blows me away that they did, but that comment is so sweet.
They felt safe. They felt safe with each other. They felt safe with Matthew and Robbie. They were able to perform the most beautiful and romantic sex scene I’ve ever witnessed because they felt safe.
I can't stress the use of the word "safe" enough.
It's impossible to know what they were thinking while filming, but I can imagine that they occasionally got those instinctive nerves, but they were able to keep filming because they trusted each other that much. They could think to themselves: "he's got me".
That is the sweetest, most wholesome thing ever.
Nicholas and Taylor are such close friends and care so much about each other that they're able to do this kind of scene. They know the other would never do anything to make them uncomfortable. They have to be completely vulnerable, but they're okay with that because they trust each other that much. That is such an incredible friendship, and a truly special bond.
It also occurred to me that that trust and safety they felt is probably part of why it feels as intimate as it does. The point of the scene is to show how far Alex and Henry have come in their relationship that they trust each other to do that.
Henry’s unable to “belong to someone else” except for a moment, and he has fallen so in love and trusts Alex so much to give himself to him in literally the most intimate way possible, even if it’s temporary. Alex has never done any of this before, considering he hadn’t truly considered his bisexuality before Henry, and obviously hasn’t had this kind of sex, but he feels comfortable enough with Henry to tell him that he’s nervous and trusts Henry will make sure everything goes right. I mean Henry literally says “trust me, you’re in good hands”, and Alex does.
Trust and safety is literally part of the characters' journeys in that scene. Nick and Taylor's real life trust in each other can provide a genuine base to build off of for Alex and Henry's.
God I wish they could do interviews, I want to hear them talk about it more (if they’re willing). They talked about it somewhat in the pre-conducted interviews, but not to the extent Matthew is in this. Obviously they don’t have to if they’re not comfortable sharing though.
I think this makes me feel so much because I'm personally demisexual and demiromantic, so emotional bonds are very important to me, in general. It's my heart's desire to find someone to love and trust that much, platonically and/or romantically.
PS: Just to be absolutely clear, this is not about shipping Nick and Taylor!! I'm just gushing about their bond with each other! I'm not trying to imply they are romantically involved in any way!
Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️
#no one try to take my head off please#i'm autistic and socially inept#this is all in good intentions#i just think they're neat#red white and royal blue#rwrb#rwrb movie#rwrb interview#rwrb thoughts#taylor zakhar perez#nicholas galitzine#matthew lópez#robbie taylor hunt
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tonight’s iwtv brainrot has me considering the concept of armand creating a portrait of daniel out of human organs and other body parts as a hashtag romantic surprise
#i fear young daniel might faint and/or throw up about it unfortunately#i know my guy is used to gore because he literally drinks his boyfriends blood and vice versa but like.#i don’t think he’s quite at the point where he can stomach seeing a portrait of himself made out of other people’s internal organs#old daniel on the other hand !#he loves it. he thinks it’s weird but what’s new? he loves his weird autistic boyfriend and his weird romantic gestures#he asks questions and takes in all the little details#iwtv#interview with the vampire#the vampire armand#daniel molloy#devil’s minion#armandaniel#tw g0re#adding the tw just in case
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